Bubbles Pees on The Vet's Floor, and the Table, and in the Vet's Hand.

"Today we will go to the vet.  We're going in the car.  Not the groomer, but the vet."

Bubbles looks at me, understands a couple of the words I just spoke, and her legs begin to shake.  There is no comforting her now.  Even with my arms around her, she resists my efforts to calm her.  She is an anxiety-ridden mess of a cockapoo.  

Bubbles is now 20 pounds, has a lump on her face, and tarter build-up on her teeth.  A surgery will follow in a couple of months to remove the lump and brush her teefers.  My puppy is an adult dog now with adult issues.  But one thing has stayed.  Through the puppy years and into the adult years:  ANXIETY and FEAR.  

Finally, home.

Peaceful. 

TEARS SOMETIME

While we were waiting outside at the vets office yesterday, to be called in, I watched a mom walk out with her little girl.  Mom was carrying a small paper bag.  An all-too-familiar bag. She wore pain on her face.  I watched as she drove away in her SUV, wiping her face with her hand.  I wiped tears of my own.

When I picked up Gracie's ashes there, five months earlier, I wore that same pain.  It's a feeling you never forget.  A sad, sick feeling.  I did not want Gracie to become ashes, yet I had nowhere or no-one to bury her.  I will always be sad about that.  And I will always be sad that she is gone.

But we have Bubbles now.

And she is sweet.  A distraction from that sadness that remains from losing my beautiful Gracie girl. 

Bubbles is 8.2 lb. of happiness.  When she came to us she was 5.5 lb.  She is smart, fluffy, loves to be cuddled, and is a perfect angel.  

Most of the time.

She had the last of her puppy shots yesterday and she was a very good patient.